


The Day She Died

by AvatarNia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canonical Character Death, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24686131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarNia/pseuds/AvatarNia
Summary: On a cold winter morning, Susan Reynolds receives a devastating letter from Aaron Burr containing the news of her childhood best friend’s tragic death.
Relationships: Theodosia Burr Alston/Philip Hamilton (if you squint)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	The Day She Died

It was a cold morning in mid-January. Freshly fallen snow piled outside the frosted windows of a house on the outskirts of London. A young woman sat at a desk in one of the bedrooms, staring out at the gray ocean on the horizon, past the countless rows of houses and buildings.

Looking back down onto the mahogany desk, where a plain piece of paper lay untouched, the young woman picked up a quill. She dipped it into an inkwell and carefully wrote out letters on the paper.

_Dear Theodosia,_

_I hope this letter finds you in good health. Wait, let’s drop the formalities. How are you, Theo? How’s life treating you and Mr. Alston? I know last year’s events hit both of you hard. I still wish I got to meet little Aaron properly. Remember the one time I met him as a baby when I came home from boarding school? He was the sweetest little boy. I hope he finds happiness on the other side._

_My husband is still on his business trips in Ireland so I’m staying with my mother. Dr. Matthew, her husband, is very nice to me. He let me have a permanent room in his house which I can stay in whenever my husband leaves again. You know how much I hate being home alone._

_A knock sounded on the dark brown bedroom door, followed by an older woman in a deep red dress entering the room. The girl looked up and smiled at the sight of the newcomer._

“Hi, mum.”

“Susan, dear.” A frown crossed the mother’s face. “There’s a letter for you from Albany.”

“It’s from Theodosia, I’ll read it later.” Susan waved her hand dismissively.

The older woman’s eyebrows creased. “No, it’s from her father.”

“From Mr. Burr?” Susan grabbed the letter from her mother’s hand and practically tore open the seal. Aaron Burr’s familiar handwriting would have comforted her if not for the worried look on her mother’s face. She took a deep breath and began to read.

_Dear ~~Ms. Reynolds~~ Susan,_

_I wish I could say that I’m writing to you with exciting news. I would have wanted to tell you something cheerful to brighten up the stormy winter months. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you deserve to hear this from me rather than read about it in a newspaper._

_Three weeks ago, on New Year’s Eve, my darling daughter Theodosia… your Theo, boarded the Patriot. On the night between January 2nd and January 3rd, an awful storm hit the coast of South Carolina._

A sinking feeling formed in her stomach as Susan noticed small dried stains on the paper. She wrote plenty of sad letters in her life and knew what the stains meant. Aaron Burr has been crying while writing the letter. Her fears were confirmed as she read the next line.

_The Patriot and all those on board were never heard from again. ~~My~~ Our Theodosia is gone._

Susan couldn’t bear reading the rest of the letter, dropping it onto her desk. She rapidly stood up and pulled a coat around her shoulders with shaky hands.

“Where are you going?” Her mother asked.

“Out,” Susan answered curtly. “I’ll be back for lunch.”

She ran outside, ignoring any further questions from her mother. The cold air nipped at her cheeks and nose. She mentally thanked herself for forgetting to put on proper shoes as trudging through the snow in flats helped numb her broken heart. She rushed down the unfamiliar streets of London, not caring where she was going.

Theo was dead. Her best friend since childhood was dead. It seemed surreal, a cruel joke that couldn’t possibly be true. What happened to the hours they used to spend fantasizing about warm summer afternoons they would spend on the porch, well into their sixties, sipping tea, and gossiping about their grandchildren? When Susan was sent to boarding school, she promised to come back. When she went to live with her mother in London, she promised to come back. She always promised that they will grow old together. Nothing could have predicted that Theo would be the one to break that promise.

Theo’s son only died the previous year, she couldn’t even imagine what her husband was feeling. And Mr. Burr… poor Mr. Burr must be devastated. He lost a grandson and a daughter in the span of two years. If Susan was heartbroken while not even being related to Theo then Mr. Burr must feel a hundred times worse.

Susan struggled to blink back tears as the memories came back. She remembered the long nights they used to spend in Theo’s room, giggling over how cute Alexander Hamilton’s sons were. The early spring days they spent in the park, running barefoot over the wet grass.

She remembered how she held Theo close the day Theodosia senior died, whispering comforting words into her ear, promising everything was going to be okay. She remembered how Theo returned the favour when the Reynolds Pamphlet was published.

Theo was always a source of comfort for her. When her mother left her with the Burrs for the first time, when she would have nightmares about her father, whenever she was hurt or sad or scared, Theo was always there. Theo would always hug her and wipe away her tears. She was like a sunbeam, lighting up Susan’s dark world.

She finally slowed down twenty minutes later. As she wiped the tears away from her eyes, she realized she had no idea where she was. But that was alright, it didn’t matter where she was. All that mattered was that Theo was dead.

“Are you quite alright, dearie?” An elderly woman asked from beside her. Susan turned, her eyes moving from the woman’s face to the flower stall she was sitting at.

“No.” Susan shook her head. “I… I lost a friend recently.”

The woman’s face softened. “That’s awful, dearie, especially at your age. Were you two very close?”

“We’ve been friends since we were children. She was the only friend I ever had.” Susan hated crying in front of people she didn’t know, but there was something about the old woman that gave her a sense of comfort.

“I understand, I’ve lost plenty of friends over my lifetime.” A somber smile crossed her face. “Take a flower, dearie. Free of charge.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Susan plucked a white rose from one of the bouquets. Theo always loved roses. She didn’t mind even as the thorns pricked her hand and drew blood. That’s when she noticed how close she was to a pier. 

Carefully trodding upon the wood, Susan walked to the very edge of the pier and sat down. She took off her flats and dipped her feet into the grey murky water. The freezing water didn’t bother her as new tears spilled down her face. She remembered Theo’s deep brown eyes, her bright smile, her warm hugs. An old lullaby that she heard Mr. Burr singing to Theo came to mind as her eyes trailed over the stormy horizon. She unknowingly started singing it in a quiet tone, though with very different words.

_Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?_   
_Sometime that night, I hope you breathed my name_   
_And like a flame that flickered out too soon,_   
_You died. You’re… gone._

Carefully, her hand traced down the stem of the rose, pricking her fingertips even deeper. 

_I cherish every day I spent with you._   
_You changed my life, you taught me how to smile._   
_And for a while, I’ll feel like I can’t go on_   
_But you’ll want me to move on._

The blood from her hands sank into the white petals, dying some of them a rosy colour.

_We have come of age with our young nation._   
_I grew up next to you. I’m here thanks to you._   
_I hope despite our lack of blood relation_   
_I was a friend to you. I owe it all to you,_

She held the rose close to her chest, slightly staining her maroon dress. Memories of the flower crowns Theo used to make for her flooded her mind.

_And I will see you again_   
_Someday, someday_   
_Yeah, I will see you again_   
_Someday, someday._

With a sigh, she dropped the rose into the ocean and watched it sink beneath the waves. However naive it sounded, she hoped that the rose would somehow find her friend. Let her know that Susan was still thinking about her.

She stood up and wiped away her tears. Theo wouldn’t want her to keep crying over this. She looked up and saw the clouds slowly start clearing, sunlight seeping through. Sunlight that reminded her so much of her dear friend. Maybe it was a sign that Theo was watching over her.

Next summer she needs to go to America. She needs to visit Mr. Burr and reminisce about Theo with him. Maybe that will help her get closure.

Theodosia was her first and closest friend, One of the only people she has ever trusted. They didn’t grow apart even when the ocean separated them for the first time when Susan up moved to London. And sure, the deep waters won the second time, taking away her Theodosia forever, but Susan knew she was in a better place now. Theo was with her mother and son, with the oldest Hamilton boy who she always had a crush on, and with her grandparents who she never got to meet.

Theodosia may be gone, but Susan would make sure her memory lived on. Her Theodosia will never be forgotten. 


End file.
